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JIM'S BIG EGO: unpop for the unpopulous!

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JIM'S BIG EGO FEELS THE FORCE, BUT CAN'T CONTROL IT

Sure, Lucas can't write dialogue or direct actors, but really, what does that have to do with movie-making?  And come on, who needs attention to detail when you've got freakin? Jedis running around with freakin? lightsabers?  They're more elegant than blasters, dammit!To their credit, Jim's Big Ego did take some of their publicist's words to heart.  The band sat down to re-watch The Empire Strikes Back, easily the best Star Wars movie.  And man, was it good.  Watching it over and over again, they started to really get into all the Yoda scenes.  "When they first got the tape, I thought 'I've got a bad feeling about this'," says manager Jason Schneider, "and I was right.  They've already missed three gigs."But the band won't need gigs anymore; they have the Force as their ally. And a powerful ally it is.  It binds us together, and flows through us.  And don't give me any of that midichlorian crap-that was just horrible.Having spent weeks on end learning the lessons of Yoda and Obi Wan Kenobi drummer Dan Cantor feels the Force flow within him.  He practices daily to learn control, such as the remote control and other objects out of his reach, and he has mastered the art of changing the traffic light from red to green.  And pretty soon he'll try using the old Jedi Mind Trick at bars, just like Obi Wan.  "Use it to pick up chicks, will I," affirms Cantor.Following the completion of his training, Cantor intends to confront his father, and bring order to the galaxy.  After that, he will rejoin the band to resume their Midwest tour.MR. R.G. - BigEgo Propaganda Home Office, Tuscaloosa, AL

updated: 12 years ago