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Can't Stop Foolin' Around  

from: Stay
well I'm finishing at school but I'm always in detention
cause I can't stop fooling around
and I'm finally graduating without honorable mention
cause I can't stop fooling around

and I'm finally getting married but we almost miss our wedding
cause we can't stop fooling around
and the preacher has a little tiny nervous breakdown
cause we can't stop fooling around

and I can't stop fooling around, I can't stop fooling around

well I'm in line at the TSA
and I can't stop fooling around
getting interrogated by the CIA
because I can't stop fooling around

they finally let me go we're out on the runway
and I can't stop fooling around
and a flight attendant tries to choke me with a little tiny bag of peanuts
cause I can't stop fooling around

and I can't stop fooling around, I can't stop fooling around

I finally get home and the IRS is going through my stuff
because I can't stop fooling around
and my wife is packed up and she's ready to leave
because I can't stop fooling around

and then my girlfriend shows up and says "what's going on?"
and I can't stop fooling around
and I'm out on the street and I'm all alone
cause I can't stop fooling around

and I can't stop fooling around, I can't stop fooling around

so I go and visit my infirmed uncle Frank
cause I can't stop fooling around
and I'm shooting roman candles at his oxygen tank
cause I can't stop fooling around

and I'm there at his funeral and everyone is crying
and I can't stop fooling around
and I run up to the roof and jump and think I'm flying
and I can't stop fooling around

and I can't stop fooling around, I can't stop fooling around

and I go up to heaven to the pearly gates
and I can't stop fooling around
and I ask St. Peter to sing like Tom Waits
because I can't stop fooling around
and Jesus says shut up or I'm going to get my dad
and I can't stop fooling around
and God comes down with a baseball bat
and I can't - ow.

and I can't stop fooling around, I can't stop fooling around