Amy’s Dates
a marble ashtray with mala beads, a pen, a capo, a pick, and a crocheted heart
from: Assemble Yourself
Tedious Thomas, and Devious Dave,
Broke Bob of the after shave,
Angry Angus, and Dipping Doug,
Tattooed Tai who gives too many hugs
Lecherous Larry, Hairsuite Harry,
Barry is much too eager to marry
Shady Shane, Dyspeptic Pete,
And flip flop Philip with the filthy feet
There are so many great men to choose from
From quiet to semi-lingual
Each have their own special quality
And that’s why Amy stays single.
Unhappy Felix, and Unhoused Mick,
Massive Mike, and Spotted Dick,
Ogley eyed Isaac, and Suspicious Saul,
Concealed Carry Gary, and Platonic Paul,
Braggadocios Bradley, Ecstatic Ed,
Argumentative Augustine, and Narcotic Ned,
Clay cleans his cuticles with a hunting knife
And Weepy Wendall cries about his ex wife.
There are so many great men to sift through
You get to know them when you mingle
Each have their own special quality
And that’s why Amy stays single.
The odds are pretty good
But the goods are pretty odd
Once you find the app you like
You wait to get the nod
From Litigious Lawrence, Loquacious Lou,
Bloviating Brian, and Randy Randy too
Mason loves his dog, and his little A frame home
Elijah wants to save you, Jerome hates being alone
Noah, Kyle, Ethan, Douglas, Zachary, wait
What was up with Mason? He actually seemed pretty great
A cabinet maker in a bluegrass band
Looks like he’s actually listening, looks like he understands
There are so many great men to sift through
While you wait to feel that tingle
Delete the app and data now
Amy is no longer single
Amy is no longer single
Broke Bob of the after shave,
Angry Angus, and Dipping Doug,
Tattooed Tai who gives too many hugs
Lecherous Larry, Hairsuite Harry,
Barry is much too eager to marry
Shady Shane, Dyspeptic Pete,
And flip flop Philip with the filthy feet
There are so many great men to choose from
From quiet to semi-lingual
Each have their own special quality
And that’s why Amy stays single.
Unhappy Felix, and Unhoused Mick,
Massive Mike, and Spotted Dick,
Ogley eyed Isaac, and Suspicious Saul,
Concealed Carry Gary, and Platonic Paul,
Braggadocios Bradley, Ecstatic Ed,
Argumentative Augustine, and Narcotic Ned,
Clay cleans his cuticles with a hunting knife
And Weepy Wendall cries about his ex wife.
There are so many great men to sift through
You get to know them when you mingle
Each have their own special quality
And that’s why Amy stays single.
The odds are pretty good
But the goods are pretty odd
Once you find the app you like
You wait to get the nod
From Litigious Lawrence, Loquacious Lou,
Bloviating Brian, and Randy Randy too
Mason loves his dog, and his little A frame home
Elijah wants to save you, Jerome hates being alone
Noah, Kyle, Ethan, Douglas, Zachary, wait
What was up with Mason? He actually seemed pretty great
A cabinet maker in a bluegrass band
Looks like he’s actually listening, looks like he understands
There are so many great men to sift through
While you wait to feel that tingle
Delete the app and data now
Amy is no longer single
Amy is no longer single